I really don't want to be called middle class, ever, never. You see, the Nairobi middle class is a funny group of people, in fact, an imaginary group of people. For simplicity purposes, let's define middle class as that group of people which is not rich and not poor, the guys with an income to afford a house with the wash room inside, the Nairobi middle class.
Pressing further, you will find the middle class guy with a contract of more than five years, has a car, servicing a loan till the end of the contract. I don't have a problem with that, that is okay, that is alright. I might have a little problem with the fact that the car cannot see the road for thirty days, i mean, the car has many leave days.
This brings a very good point. When buying a car, perhaps, it might be very sound to buy a second hand local car. The only thing you should do is evaluate the lifestyle of the owner. If he drives the car from the 28th to the 9th day of the following month it means that the car has an active life of 10 days a month and 120 days a year. Add a bonus of 20 days due to the long holidays and some windfalls here and there.
This means that a car bought three years ago may be newer than a car bought one year ago if not equally old. Despite a longer time in the country, the car has seen fewer kilometers of the road compared to another one owned by a better endowed middle calls, or just middle upper.
Away from that. The spending habits of the Nairobi middle class are ruled by three things; church, neighborhood and club. In the Church the pastor will pray for people to get blessed, buy a good car and so forth. If my middle class friend feels that he has had enough prayers, and fellow middle class friends have got their car prayers answered, he will sign the loan papers for Toyota car, and survive the salary deductions, painfully.
Neighbourhood. It sucks, sulks too, when you have to jump away to avoid the splashes of water on your way to the bus stage. You will be thinking, "nisplashie maji tu nitanunua yangu" then pester your wife for a collabo loan.
Club. A year after college, the unwritten rule is that you should have made enough to afford a bottle of whisky. Just throw a party and you will think everyone was born a Jameson favourite, they will die for that tot. The mood will be "tusker ni ya wazee". Interestingly though, after the Jameson is over, guys will drown the Tusker as if they have grown old all of sudden. Originally Jameson was brewed for twelve years. I think, with the consumption in Kenya, the manufacturers must have suffered a shock. Probably its twelve hours now!!
I avoided the other reason for the stupid nature of consumption by the middle class; their women. This is because this is not only a perennial case but also the fact that I am not yet married. My grandpa told me, "when you grow up, pick a girl and call her wife", point is, i don't want to hurt my chances.
Happy Friday, gosh. Does Kiss 100 still play that song?
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